Sunday, June 26, 2016

Letter to the lady who berated me at the park:

Dear Lady who berated at the park:
     As I said multiple times in the calmest toned voice I could muster as you yelled in my face, holding onto my daughter, "I appreciate your concern but there are circumstances here that you do not understand." In the moment, I would have been happy to explain them to you, but you were so angry and yelling so loud. It was an embarrassing scene you were making in front of probably 50 people from our small community. I was trying very hard not to lose my temper at you. I was trying so hard to refrain from yelling back at you. You had jumped to conclusions of  what you and your friend "think" happened and were not open to listening to the truth. I eventually did lose my temper, but I didn't lose it in the way that you told the police. Instead of yelling obscenities and calling you volgue names, as you told the policeman, I took my child back from you- can you blame me, you said you are a parent too (and that is why you said you were an authority of raising children), what would you have done if a angry women berating and yelling at you was hold your child away from you. I then took my children and went and got into my car and left. The only thing I said to you in anger was "fine then call the police", which to your credit you kept to your word and did. Considering you had 50 witnesses around you I don't know why you felt the need to lie to the police. It was probably because you had already built the story up in your head, after all you "knew" what had happened. You "knew" the "truth".
Now that the moment is past, would you like to know the truth? My children had got separated from me while I was getting my produce at the community produce day. They saw that mama was distracted and had full arms and although they were given permission to play on the playground a few feet from where we were as long as they stayed together, they took advantage of the craziness to get out of my site. I found my eldest son covered in mud when I was done through the line, and asked him where his sisters were. They were not together nor were they on the playground like they were suppose to be. He told me they were on the other side of the park playing in the mud. Again my arms were full of lots of heavy produce (remember that was they say we got 3 mellons each and 3 cantelope). I told him to get back to his sisters. I then took my youngest (who had stayed with me the whole time) and my produce to the car and buckled him in. Since I can't leave him in the car and dragging him around the park further would have been disastrous (I know my physical limits), I started the car up and started to move it to the other side of the park where my eldest had told me they had run off to, only to see my eldest running around scared in the mass of people. I stopped in the middle of the parking lot and run up to my son, I saw he was worried, I even thanked your friend who was with him, he being a smart kid had asked an adult for help when he realized he couldn't see me. That was when you started yelling at me with one of my daughters covered in mud. I would have expected some charity from you some relief that a mother was reunited with her child. I was a worried mother, who had been separated from my children and was grateful that they were fine. I was still worried because I was missing another child, instead of charity from you, I got yelling and hate from someone under the disguise of caring that I was being a neglectful mom. Every mom has a moment of bad judgement or helplessness as the actions of their children were out of their control. For your information I have never yelled obscenities at anyone in my entire life. Ask anyone who knows me. Ask my children. My children don't even know any obscenities, because I don't use them. The closest I have ever come is yelling da*n once when I dropped something super heavy on my foot. Most of the time, what is used as obscene words in my vocabulary is "oh heck" and on a super rare occasion "crap". None of which I did I even use in front of you. I could see how angry you were, how much of a scene you were making. I didn't want a scene, I didn't want you to be angry. I just wanted all my children back with me safe. Have you never had a lost child? Have you never felt that worry and panic of where did they go? In a community like ours, small, full of faith professing Christians, and patriotic military families- I expected that in a moment like that for those around me to pull together and help me find my children and rejoice with me when we were all rejoined safe. But you took what could have been a sweet community moment and turned it into bitterness and hate as you yelled at me about being a neglectful mom and leaving my children. You assumed that since you had my child in your custody for a short minute and you saw me get out of my car that I had left them at the park to fend for themselves. You told the police I had left them there for at least 20 minutes. You told the police that I yelled at you. You told the police I had showed an unChristian example in front of my children, and worst of all you made my children cry, cry because you were calling the police, and yelling that I shouldn't be a mother if I treat my children that way. You scared my children into thinking that the police where going to take their mother way from them. Was that your intent? I don't think so. I think in that short moment you had my children around you, you were worried for them. They were scared and you worried for them. Whatever your experiences are, this made you lash out at me- a scared and worried parent.
I have had many crazy people berate me in public. I am sure this won't be the last time. Most of the time about how I have no business having so many children (I only have 4 and believe me that isn't that many). why people unprompted feel the need to lecture people on their choice to have children is beyond. me.  It is now my turn to show you the Charity you did not show me. I am sure you are a good person. I believe that in the moment you honestly thought you were trying to do a good thing. Out of all the people who have treated me unkindly I am having the hardest time feeling that charity and forgiveness. I think it is because you made my children cry, and because this time I had to explain myself to a police officer- who by they way totally understood and dropped the whole thing on hearing what actually had happened. With all done and said, I am hurt. I am hurt that someone who does so much in the community to try to help others, would have treated one person who needed some love and compassion at that moment with so much anger so much hate, so little Charity. I admire the charity work you do for the community. I know you want to be a good Christian and serve those in need. Please Please Please remember that there are those in need who what they need is Charity- pure love and forgiveness. I am trying to forgive you. I am trying to have Charitable love for you. Please forgive me for my shortcomings, and the perceived shortcomings you have of me, and please have Charity for me.
Sincerely the Lady who got separated from her children at the product day on Friday at the park.

Please everyone, you may think you "know the truth" of what happened or what is going on in someone else's life, but you don't, most of us will never know or understand the truth when it comes to another person. As a society we need to have more Charity, more love, more forgiveness, more understanding. This one word, if implemented would solve so many of our Country's and World's problems. Charity is the answer.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. -Moroni 7:46-7