Everyone Thinks They Have a Right to Judge

A friend of mine recently made a post called "On Parenting". She goes through a list of things that she reminds herself when she see parents Parenting in a way that she wouldn't. She has a lot of good thoughts. It brought a number of thoughts to my mind. It also reminded me of an e-article I read a couple months ago, "Apologies to the Parents I judged Four Years Ago". In this article, the lady talks about how she use to judge and realized, now that she's a parent, that she judged unfairly. 
Both my friend and this article, remind me at how much we judge each other as parents, but also judge ourselves. With my husband being deployed I am very much not the parent I want to be. I know that right now I am being a single parent but I don't know how single parents do it. I don't go to work all day, I don't have to balance a career and my children. I am still a stay at home mom, and I can hardly have time to keep up with my laundry, clean up my house, and do a bunch of other things I can't seem to manage all I want to do.
I have a hard time trying to be the type of parent I want to be. I have ideals of how I want our home to run. However I fall short.
Yes every household is different. Yes there is no one right way to raise our children. Yes there are always circumstances in other peoples lives that we don't know. Yes all of us have things that we want to change about how we parent. Why are we so judgmental of ourselves and others on how they raise their children? I think the operative part is "children". We see children who grow up with no discipline, with no respect for authority, with bad manors, with bad habits, and these are people. They grow up to be part of society. So often disrespectful, rude, bad, people reflect the parenting or lack of that receive. As parents or perspective parents, non of us want to be reflected poorly on because of our children's actions. In the bigger picture, we want to know that we can stand blameless before God and know that we did the best we possibly could in raising our children to love God and follow His commandments. 
Is how quickly and well I clean up from dinner going to reflect on how righteous my son is? Probably not. Is whether I have a decorated house worthy of posting pictures of on pinterest going to keep my girls from getting married in the Temple? I serious doubt it. 
Some things are essentials to our eternal salvation and to our children's. Every thing else is just- everything else. Yes those things make life nicer, possibly easier, less stressful, or more stressful, but they are not essential. The next time I wake up in the morning and realize I left the leftovers still sitting on the kitchen  counter, I need to remind myself that its not essential to our salvation and not beat myself up on it.

Breastfeeding in Australia

Breastfeeding in Australia: This is a combination of a praise and a rant.

I met a lady at the park the other day. She is from Australia, has twin fraternal girls who are almost two and a half. She husband is on a exchange program through the Australian army with our Army. They have lived here about a year and a half.

We were talking about caring for twins and tips and stuff. I said that I decided when getting home from the hospital that I had to figure out the feeding them at the same time thing and how it would have never been possible without the twin nursing table I have. She agreed. The nursing table is wonderful. She then started ranting on how the United States is so NOT breastfeeding friendly. How people scowl at you if you feed in public, even when you're covered. Most of all she hates that there are no public Mother's nursing rooms in the United States. She said that in Australia its is super breastfeeding friendly. That almost every public building has a Mother's Nursing Room that you can use at anytime. That public nursing is encouraged and no one bats an eye at you. She talked about how ever since Australia went to a public health program it has instituted policies to encourage breastfeeding, make it easier for mother's to breastfeed and discourage the use of formula. She said that the attitude is now that you nurse your baby until they are two. 

I wish that we had public Mother's Nursing rooms all over the place. My son would never let me cover up. I couldn't, he would cry and scream and flat out refuse to eat if there was anything covering him. I live a good distance south of town. So when I go to town I go for the day and get everything done that I need to. Which meant staying in town to feed my infant. Since I couldn't cover up that meant finding a secluded shaded place to park (which really isn't easy to do in the summer in Arizona) and sitting in my hot car feeding my baby. I had no where to go. Why is it the breastfeeding is so looked down on here in the States? I know there are movements out there trying to raise awareness of how breastfeeding is so much better than formula. That there are more and more hospitals out there trying to encourage nursing and hire Lactation Consultants.

My mom remembers her mother saying that in her day it was looked at as a sign of poverty to breastfeed. Because that meant you were too poor to buy formula. Why is it that so many women just give up on nursing without giving it a good try. Even if you have to suplement, the advantages of nursing are so great- how can you afford not to give that to your baby. I don't understand the hundreds of women who eat healthy and to everything "perfect" during their pregnancy because they want the "best" for their baby, and then buy all the organic expensive stuff afterwards because they want to give their babies the "best". But when it comes down to it the true "BEST" for you baby is the milk that you make for them, yet they don't give that to their baby.

To encourage breastfeeding, Australia has started a number of campaigns. This video is a commercial that they made. Also the Australian Breastfeeding Association rates and gives out award to the best public Mother's rooms out there. That is awesome. On their website you can see what all these places rate.

Top reasons to Breastfeed:

1. You immune system becomes theirs, if you have had a vaccine or have build immunity to any infection you give them that immunity. With this there is no reason to seclude you and your baby for the first few months of their lives.
2. If they are ill, your body will be making the antidote. They will get over the illness much faster and build up their own immunity to it faster.
3. Your body made them, it knows exactly what nutrients their body needs. Your body makes milk designed to be exactly what they need for that stage of their development.
4. With the exception of a few diet items you may need to change, they will always be able to eat your milk, unlike babies who have problems with various types of formula.
5. Bonding between you and your baby happens on a level that just doesn't happen with bottles
6. Your hormones are better balanced when you breastfeed. These hormones will help your body return to "normal" faster.
7. I'm not a "Mother Nature Knows Best" person. But I am a "Heavenly Father Knows Best" person. I believe that this is how Heavenly Father designed it to work and he designs things best. I believe there is still benefits out there that we don't know about that science may yet uncover.

I wish our country could be more Breastfeeding Friendly like Australia. I don't want the Government to have to get involved. I just wish that people would become enlightened and realize that the "inconvenience" is nothing compared to the benefits. I wish that Breastfeeding would become the norm and formula would become the rare exception. And to accommodate this I wish public places would design in Mother's rooms into their design. Maybe this will become a reality someday, instead of just a dream.

Swine Flu

The panic and all the idiot remarks are driving me nuts. I could not hold my tongue any longer. I am trying to stay on the simple side of this discussion.
Lets get Educated:

• 1- The flu is a virus, not a bacteria- therefore it can't be treated with an antibiotic.
• 2- The flu is an upper respiratory virus.
• 3- The flu is doesn't effect your stomach, there is so such thing as a "stomach flu".
• 4- Swine Flu is not something you can get from eating pig, pork, or any pig product.
• 5- Symptoms of the Flu are fever, coughing, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue.
• 6- How did the Swine Flue become a human flu?- There are many types of flu viruses. Just as with most viruses there are different types that are adapted to different species. This particular virus was adapted to pigs/swine. The flu virus is a quick evolving virus, the main reason its so hard to make an effective vaccine for the flu. In some areas of the world, humans live in close contact with animals. All of these animals have their own strains of flu, on occasion a strain has mutated enough to effect a human, and then sometimes that strain mutates again enough to effect another human who is around the first human who contracted the flu from the animal. Once it has made this mutation it is now a human virus with various levels of strength.
• 7- How to protect yourself?- Wash your hands WELL on a regular basis (not just using a hand sanitizer and not just after you use the bathroom). Get a good nights rest, exercise, and eat well (these things will keep your immune system strong). Clean surfaces that are touched regularly (especially if you work in a public place- help everyone out by cleaning door knobs, counter tops, and other high traffic areas). Avoid coughing/sneezing on others, or allowing others to cough/sneeze on you (face masks do their job, but are a little extreme, if you live in an area that has a high confirmed case rate then you might consider this extreme method of protection).
• 8- The flu, as with many viruses, have an incubation stage (a stage where you are infected but not showing signs of being sick). During this stage and the next stage (where you are showing symptoms) you too are contagious. Please take precautions when you are feeling unwell and even when you feel fine.
• 9- If you think you have the flu (swine or otherwise) or any other virus- you should stay home. Don't be going everywhere trying to function and possibly getting others sick. Wash your hands even more often than before and don't sneeze/cough on others. Take lots of Vit C (it may only be a placebo but its a placebo that apparently works) and take lots of Zinc (it has less of an effect in mass studies of people but very effective on the flu in lab tests) - so take both and lots of it. Get sleep- it will give your immune system do its job. Its sad that people only take these precautions when there is "Pandemic scare" going on. But there is always a possibility of a pandemic, and we should be taking these precautions everyday. I'm not trying to make people paranoid, because I am one of the least paranoid people out there. Instead I am trying to educate people so they will be aware and make smart choices- like washing your hands.

Mutal Respect- Obviously Some People Find it a Joke

This vandalized poster was sitting on my parent's front yard. My parent's house is in the back of a neighborhood, in the back of a circle. Someone went out of their way to vandalize their property that was on their property. It sickens me.
The same people who did they are claiming they want equal rights, when obviously they don't. If they honestly believed in true equal rights they would respect people's rights to express their beliefs. They not only committed a crime by vandalizing and disregarding personal property, they are violating the rights of my parents (who are law abiding citizans) to have the right to express themselves, their right of free speach, their right to own person property and so much more.
I want to be able to respect peoples rights to choose how to live their own lives. If you read my past blogs you will see that I support many rights that indivdules arguee that they don't have. I just can not support the right for them to marry someone of the same sex. They still have the right to marry, they could still marry- but someone of the oposite sex. I have done many things to fight for those other rights, but whey they continue to disregard the rights of others- I no longer want to help fight for their rights.
When I lived in Utah, people who did not support rights for gay couples, lived quite lives of unsupport. They have that right, but those who lived that life style would constantly be in my face and other's faces flaunting their right to live how they want. I hated it. They were a small but in your face minority. In Arizona that minority is much larger, but most live quite lives. I can respect that. It is those people who live a quite lives makes me want to leave them alone and let them do so.
But by insulting and insurting their lives into mine- by infringing on my rights and the rights of those around me. I will fight! To those individules I ask you to STOP infringing on our basic rights, you can't say you are truely for equal right if you are not allowing the basic rights of life to those who do not think the same way you do.

AZ Prop 102, Saving Marriage, and what else I think should change

Those of you who have lived in the Arizona a few years now, will remember the complicated wording and confusion that surrounded the last proposition that was brought to voters about the official recognition of marriage in the state of Arizona.

This time the wording has been simplified so that anyone will understand its uncomplicated meaning.

Only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state.

Many other states have passes similar amendments to their state constitutions. Those who wish to call a union between a gay couple marriage argue that, Arizona, and those other states, already outlaw same-sex marriages, so why do we need an amendment? Laws can be outlawed and overturned much easier than constitutional amendments. An amendment to the constitution cannot be ruled as unconstitutional. Please remember that this law is not going to take away any benefits or take away status of individuals to receive benefits, it is only to change the state constitution so save the word "Marriage" for one man and one woman. Anyone who says otherwise is just trying to confuse the issue all over again. We believe marriage to be sacred and ordained of God. To call anything else a "marriage" is a mockery of all that is sacred, and what we hold true. There may come a time where we are forced to recognize 'unions' but part of making it in our state constitution or in our Federal constitution (if we are ever so blessed) would be to save that sacred word for only between a man and woman. As a side note most Senators stated their reason for not supporting the Marriage Amendment to our Federal Constitution was that it is a state right- SO LET US MAKE IT A STATE RIGHT. Without saving this word, they might as well stop recognizing any marriages at all. We could go to a society that only churches recognize marriages and everything else looks at it as nothing. I would rather go to this society than see the sacred word of “Marriage” be desiccated by being applied to a same-sex couple. But I can give reasons why that will not happen for a long time 1- Money, states make money to sell marriage licenses, they would lose money. 2-If a marriage is not going to make money then companies are going to start losing money because less people would be getting married, there is a lot of money in the business of weddings. 3-Most of our society recognized that the family unit of a marriage of a man and woman with their children that are born under that marriage is the foundation of our country. As that basic unit gets diminished and disregarded, our society has more and more problems that call be linked back to its failing families and marriages. To save a Marriage is to save a family and to save a family is to solve social problems.
Please help us save our society one marriage at a time by voting yes on Prop 102.



I am now going to take this argument to a new level I wish to discuss how this proposition is not about benefits to elderly or to life partners or is it changing anyone’s status ability to receive benefits or insurance. Now this is one topic where some, especially in my own social circles would consider my views as liberal thinking.

What is the advantage given to a couple, by being recognized as marriage by the government?

Taxes- Being able to file jointly
Insurance- being able to have spousal benefits and dependant benefits, Life and Health
Social Security Benefits/ Survivor/Pension-
Homeownership
Adoption and Child Custody
1- Taxes: I believe our tax system needs to be changed, I think that it would be a benefit to the IRS to allow any two adults who want to combine their finances and financial be recognized as one unit to file jointly. They would have to go through a legal pathway to get this recognition. And the same would apply to undo this process. This could apply to life partners, marriages, business partners, siblings, mother and child. The catch would be only TWO adults could become joint in finances.
2- Insurance: who doesn’t think it needs to be changed
Health- I think that Insurance companies who recognize a spouse should change their way of how they recognize who they cover. It should be changed to that each policy will recognize the primary policy holder and one other adult plus any children (either adopted or biological of either adult on the policy).
Life- You should be able to name whoever you want in a policy as the beneficiary. Problem solved.
3- When it comes to ALL of those other retirement and other benefits, as with the Life insurance you should be able to name anyone to receive those benefits. There should be a legal process, just as with the joint finances, to name someone your beneficiary of retirement and upon death benefits. And as with benefits that are split between multiple past spouses, those benefits with be divided between all past legal beneficiaries. Yes all of this is more paperwork and legal stuff, but it would solve so many other problems without changing recognized marriage.
4- Homeownership: If banks are now forced to recognize legal joint finances and legal beneficiaries than they will recognize whoever you want to put on your home loan and have to be divided legally if the two parties decided to dissolve this legal binding.
5- I very rarely hear the argument that adoption is a right that same-sex couples are arguing for, when it comes to being recognized as a marriage. I can’t pretend that I support the idea of children being raise by same-sex couples. Just as with a single parent there will always be something missing in the child’s upbringing. When it comes to a child custody of a child who was born under a traditional marriage and then one of the parents chose to leave it, I think that if that a good person is not hurting the child physically or emotionally they should be have contact and be a presents in that child’s life. It takes a man and a women to raise a child, both have unique abilities necessary to the healthy development of a child. It is a tragedy when a child has to be raised without one or the other. We should not be legally sanctioning tragedy for the sake of convenience. It is my belief that most advocates of same-sex marriage are concerned with adoption rights. To those who are, I can only tell you that I respectfully and strenuously disagree that same-sex couples have the same capacity to raise a child as a traditional marriage.

My argument for the advocating these changes have not factors that I am trying to support ‘gay rights’. Instead they are formed from a series of problems that I have seen in the few short years of my life. If it then benefits same-sex couples then so be it, especially if they stop trying to infringe on Sacred Marriage. I think that two sisters who are not married, who live together, should be able to take advantage of these changes. Same with two widows who want to share those benefits.
I think that the government should be encouraging people to share living quarters, not for any reason of sexual benefit, but for the economic, social, and environmental benefits. It saves money to share household expenses, it is proven that people feel happier and connected social when they live in the household with someone (ie someone to see when you get home), and last of all there have been a number of studies that show that a household of one and a household of two create use the same number of utilities and therefore produce the same number of greenhouse gasses. With this way to slow down global warming I am surprised that the environmental enthusiasts aren’t pushing the “help the environment, get a roommate” slogan. The green house emissions increase by a small percentage, when individuals are added to a household.
Again my point is not to advocate ‘gay rights’ not is it to preach the effects of global warming. But it is to enlighten our nation to looking at things differently. We can save Marriage, and still respect that not everyone has the same needs. We can look at two people living together was living in sin, or recognize that everyone needs a roommate, and that I can’t force them to have the roommate that I want them to.

Please help pass Proposition 102 in November. Please vote Yes, please support families and help solve social problems.