The Women

If you read my review section on the left side of my blog you will see I very much enjoyed this movie. It is a chic flick movie and unless a guy really enjoys a well written drama they will have no interest. I heard a lot of negative reviews of this films- most saying how it degrades women and all that we are trying to be. I am sure those same reviewers (mostly women) would say the same thing about the 1939 version. Those women who think that are the type of women who think that no success in the home could ever compensate for failure in the workplace. The message that this play and both movie versions teaches is that a women have a place in the home. Not a dominated one, but a role that no other figure can fill, and that as women stretch ourselves too thin trying to do everything our home life will suffer, and new problems will develop. The other part of the message is that love is the most important thing that can help our relationships. We can do those other things but women need to keep balances in their life. There is so much that as women we can accomplish, we just cannot allow the things that are not as important to cause us to forget what really matters in life. I love the message and the modern take on this film.

AZ Prop 102, Saving Marriage, and what else I think should change

Those of you who have lived in the Arizona a few years now, will remember the complicated wording and confusion that surrounded the last proposition that was brought to voters about the official recognition of marriage in the state of Arizona.

This time the wording has been simplified so that anyone will understand its uncomplicated meaning.

Only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state.

Many other states have passes similar amendments to their state constitutions. Those who wish to call a union between a gay couple marriage argue that, Arizona, and those other states, already outlaw same-sex marriages, so why do we need an amendment? Laws can be outlawed and overturned much easier than constitutional amendments. An amendment to the constitution cannot be ruled as unconstitutional. Please remember that this law is not going to take away any benefits or take away status of individuals to receive benefits, it is only to change the state constitution so save the word "Marriage" for one man and one woman. Anyone who says otherwise is just trying to confuse the issue all over again. We believe marriage to be sacred and ordained of God. To call anything else a "marriage" is a mockery of all that is sacred, and what we hold true. There may come a time where we are forced to recognize 'unions' but part of making it in our state constitution or in our Federal constitution (if we are ever so blessed) would be to save that sacred word for only between a man and woman. As a side note most Senators stated their reason for not supporting the Marriage Amendment to our Federal Constitution was that it is a state right- SO LET US MAKE IT A STATE RIGHT. Without saving this word, they might as well stop recognizing any marriages at all. We could go to a society that only churches recognize marriages and everything else looks at it as nothing. I would rather go to this society than see the sacred word of “Marriage” be desiccated by being applied to a same-sex couple. But I can give reasons why that will not happen for a long time 1- Money, states make money to sell marriage licenses, they would lose money. 2-If a marriage is not going to make money then companies are going to start losing money because less people would be getting married, there is a lot of money in the business of weddings. 3-Most of our society recognized that the family unit of a marriage of a man and woman with their children that are born under that marriage is the foundation of our country. As that basic unit gets diminished and disregarded, our society has more and more problems that call be linked back to its failing families and marriages. To save a Marriage is to save a family and to save a family is to solve social problems.
Please help us save our society one marriage at a time by voting yes on Prop 102.



I am now going to take this argument to a new level I wish to discuss how this proposition is not about benefits to elderly or to life partners or is it changing anyone’s status ability to receive benefits or insurance. Now this is one topic where some, especially in my own social circles would consider my views as liberal thinking.

What is the advantage given to a couple, by being recognized as marriage by the government?

Taxes- Being able to file jointly
Insurance- being able to have spousal benefits and dependant benefits, Life and Health
Social Security Benefits/ Survivor/Pension-
Homeownership
Adoption and Child Custody
1- Taxes: I believe our tax system needs to be changed, I think that it would be a benefit to the IRS to allow any two adults who want to combine their finances and financial be recognized as one unit to file jointly. They would have to go through a legal pathway to get this recognition. And the same would apply to undo this process. This could apply to life partners, marriages, business partners, siblings, mother and child. The catch would be only TWO adults could become joint in finances.
2- Insurance: who doesn’t think it needs to be changed
Health- I think that Insurance companies who recognize a spouse should change their way of how they recognize who they cover. It should be changed to that each policy will recognize the primary policy holder and one other adult plus any children (either adopted or biological of either adult on the policy).
Life- You should be able to name whoever you want in a policy as the beneficiary. Problem solved.
3- When it comes to ALL of those other retirement and other benefits, as with the Life insurance you should be able to name anyone to receive those benefits. There should be a legal process, just as with the joint finances, to name someone your beneficiary of retirement and upon death benefits. And as with benefits that are split between multiple past spouses, those benefits with be divided between all past legal beneficiaries. Yes all of this is more paperwork and legal stuff, but it would solve so many other problems without changing recognized marriage.
4- Homeownership: If banks are now forced to recognize legal joint finances and legal beneficiaries than they will recognize whoever you want to put on your home loan and have to be divided legally if the two parties decided to dissolve this legal binding.
5- I very rarely hear the argument that adoption is a right that same-sex couples are arguing for, when it comes to being recognized as a marriage. I can’t pretend that I support the idea of children being raise by same-sex couples. Just as with a single parent there will always be something missing in the child’s upbringing. When it comes to a child custody of a child who was born under a traditional marriage and then one of the parents chose to leave it, I think that if that a good person is not hurting the child physically or emotionally they should be have contact and be a presents in that child’s life. It takes a man and a women to raise a child, both have unique abilities necessary to the healthy development of a child. It is a tragedy when a child has to be raised without one or the other. We should not be legally sanctioning tragedy for the sake of convenience. It is my belief that most advocates of same-sex marriage are concerned with adoption rights. To those who are, I can only tell you that I respectfully and strenuously disagree that same-sex couples have the same capacity to raise a child as a traditional marriage.

My argument for the advocating these changes have not factors that I am trying to support ‘gay rights’. Instead they are formed from a series of problems that I have seen in the few short years of my life. If it then benefits same-sex couples then so be it, especially if they stop trying to infringe on Sacred Marriage. I think that two sisters who are not married, who live together, should be able to take advantage of these changes. Same with two widows who want to share those benefits.
I think that the government should be encouraging people to share living quarters, not for any reason of sexual benefit, but for the economic, social, and environmental benefits. It saves money to share household expenses, it is proven that people feel happier and connected social when they live in the household with someone (ie someone to see when you get home), and last of all there have been a number of studies that show that a household of one and a household of two create use the same number of utilities and therefore produce the same number of greenhouse gasses. With this way to slow down global warming I am surprised that the environmental enthusiasts aren’t pushing the “help the environment, get a roommate” slogan. The green house emissions increase by a small percentage, when individuals are added to a household.
Again my point is not to advocate ‘gay rights’ not is it to preach the effects of global warming. But it is to enlighten our nation to looking at things differently. We can save Marriage, and still respect that not everyone has the same needs. We can look at two people living together was living in sin, or recognize that everyone needs a roommate, and that I can’t force them to have the roommate that I want them to.

Please help pass Proposition 102 in November. Please vote Yes, please support families and help solve social problems.

Primary Chorister Ideas

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Flower and Petals

I made a flower out of construction paper. Each petal was about 2 inches wide and 4 inches tall. I also had a stem that held all the petals. It was just stuck on with a touch of glue stick glue. The glue tore off easy and clean. Then in between the two primaries, I re-glued the petals to the stem.

Watermelon seeds

I love to create out of construction paper. I tried to make it as large as possible. I created it out of two sides of red papers. Then used some green to line the bottom of the red. I made the seeds as large as I could without them looking ridiculous for the watermelon. They were about an inch wide. Each seed had a magnate and a number on the back. I put some magnates on the back of the watermelon too.

Rising Balloon

The string was looped all the way around the board, pull the string down on the back, the balloons rise on the front. Really simple to make. I created a background on my board with construction paper, but you really don’t have to. Also you don’t have to make cut out balloons, anything that goes up: balloons, birds, clouds, airplane.

A Primary Chorister & An EQ Sec

A few weeks ago I was given the calling as Primary Chorister. On Sunday Cory received a calling. He was called as the Elders Quorum secretary. It will be a big responsibility for him but I know he will do well. I also think it will be good for him because he will still get to go to Sunday School and also to Priesthood. So he won’t feel isolated from the majority of the ward. Yesterday was the third Sunday that I have done my calling.

The first Sunday I just used bright colored hearts, each heart had a song on it. I picked songs that we had prepared to sing for the “primary program” that we were preparing for when I was still in the singles’ ward. Then I used the magnates to hold the hearts to the chalkboard till it was picked by one of the children. They were really good for me. The SR Primary sang really well, the JR Primary didn’t sing but they were quite and I had their totally attention. Along with the hearts, I also used things like having them hold their finger to their nose, having their hands on their head, and sitting on their hand while they sang the song. They would all do it every time, even when they didn’t sing. It kept them occupied.

The second Sunday I did two different activities, one for the JR and the other for the SR. In JR Primary we only worked on the first verse of ‘When Jesus Christ was Baptized.’ I had a picture to represent each line and after singing the verse all the way through, I picked children to come up and pick a picture to remove from view. Then we sang the verse again. Once all the pictures were removed and we sang the song twice through then I had some children up to put the pictures back into order. It worked really well and they seemed to be getting the song well too. For the SR Primary, since they had already shown me they knew ‘When Jesus Christ was Baptized’, I made a pink flower out of construction paper and each petal had a song to practice from the Primary Program. At the end of singing time all that was left of my flower was the stem. The children seemed to like plucking the flower.

Then this last Sunday, I was going to be given an extra 5 minutes for Singing Time. The primary president wanted to give me the extra time to start polishing the songs for the primary program, the program is going to be Oct 26^th. But between now and then I will be gone one Sunday, General Conference, and Stake Conference. For JR primary I spend the time going over the first and second verses of ‘When Jesus Christ Was Baptized’. I mostly did the same thing I did the week before, sing, take pictures away, then put them back in order. They know the first verse super well. For SR primary I had a jar with all the songs for the program written inside on slips of paper. Each song that was drawn we sang at least two times through. That went well too.

The children are so intimidating. There is one of me and a room full of them (and I do the room full twice). I also don’t have much experience in working with a good number of children at one time. As I said intimidating. I know that I can do this, and I will grow from this experience. I know I will have blessings from it. I will miss going to Relief Society, but primary will be a growing change. I am about as intimidated as I am excited for this new adventure. Many of the teachers in the primary have told me that I am a natural at this, that I am amazing for just starting this calling. I don’t feel like it is coming naturally, or that I am amazing. I have a hard time taking people at their word, I always feel that they are giving me a compliment to try to make me feel better. One of the hard parts is getting past the feeling that it isn’t really my calling. That instead of feeling that the calling is mine, I feel like each week I am preparing to substitute as the chorister. Each Sunday I feel that I just need to make it through this week. I want to feel like I own the calling. That I know exactly what to do in every situation. But I have a feeling that working with children will always be unpredictable and no one ever feels that they own that sort of calling, like being a parent. Each new situation that arises, there is a new choice to make. I get the impression that a parent is a job that is constantly changing and that as soon as you feel like you are getting the hang of that stage of life, the child grows up and you’re the new bee again. I can’t speak with authority because I don’t have any children, I have never been fully responsible for any child, but this is the impression that I have gotten over time. It’s one of the reasons becoming a parent is intimidating for me, I guess I don’t see this calling as too different then being a parent, except parenting is permanent, primary chorister is a calling for maybe a few years. Maybe this calling is to help me prepare for motherhood.

Wonderful place to live, Come and Visit

I had an interview last week. It was for a front desk position at an animal clinic. At first, before I went, I didn’t think I wanted the job. But after going to the interview I really hope I get the job. There is the possibility of moving to the back and doing lab test (mostly microbiology work). So I really hope I get the job. But we’ll see.

This weekend my parents came down to Sierra Vista, for the first time, to come visit us. I hope they enjoyed it and appreciated where we live. I hope they saw why we both like this area so much. I was so worried that my dad would have a reaction to our cat. And I figured that would put a damper on him wanting to come visit us again. I tried so hard to clean up all the hair in our house. I swept the floor and then I vacuumed the entire floor, carpet and tile. I took off our couch cover and washed it. I have decided that I am a fan of couch covers, that fit properly. I can actually wash it and have it all clean. And when all is washed and it is back on the couch it looks nice.

With my parents in town, they arrived Friday evening after going to Kartchner Caverns. We went out to La Casita for dinner. On Saturday, in the morning there was a primary activity day. While I was helping with the activity day (it was a “choose your adventure” made for the average age of 5), my parents drove to Bisbee to spend the day. I still haven’t had time to spend the day in Bisbee. I guess I have the time, but I don’t want to do it all by myself. I mean I have done many things on my own, but I sort of figured that I shouldn’t have to do as many things on my own being married now. That afternoon, after they got back from Bisbee, we picked up Subway sandwiches and drove up Carr Canyon. It’s so beautiful up at the top. For dinner at evening, we went out with Cory’s parents to Outback. Sunday my parents came to church with us and then had dinner with us before they had to head back to Mesa.

We were so happy to have them come. We love having people come to visit.

Sickies flock together

I hate being sick. I have been sick to a more or lesser extent for a week now. My husband has been sick also. Sunday we went to bed at 8 pm. Monday he stayed home from work because he wasn’t doing so well. But he went back to work Tues and Wed, but each day he came home miserable and sick. Wednesday night Cory was doing so badly that he didn’t get any sleep. Instead he was coughing all night and he was having trouble breathing, either way it added up to no sleep for him and only a little bit of sleep for me. So Thurs morning Cory calls in sick and we went to the local Urgent care. I had already decided I was going to go on Thursday. I figured that I wasn’t getting any better on my own and as much as I didn’t want to resort to taking an antibiotic, but it was time. We went to the urgent care, go looked over. I am sure we, or at least I, have strep throat. I obviously don't have the supplies to do an laboratory test, but I have many symptoms. The biggest of the symptoms is the plentiful white spots on my tonsils. The doctor thinks we had bronchitis, it could still be strep, but it doesn’t matter because both are treated with antibiotics. Last night Cory took the drowsy inducing medication he was given and went to be at 7, and gave in and went to be at 8ish. When it was morning, Cory felt wonderful and went to work. I on the other hand still felt absolutely miserable. I slept in until 10. All that sleep and the antibiotics and I don’t feel any better yet. Guess I just need to give the meds more time.

Camping, Mountains, and Serenity

We went up to Mesa and then up to the Canyon Creek on the Rim to go camping with my parents. Almost immediately upon reaching the Phoenix Valley, Cory and I started having congestion problems. But we decided to still go camping. We had fun camping. It was our first chance to use the camping gear that we got for our wedding. We sat up our tent, and found out that it was smaller than we thought and that the air mattress we got is too big for our tent. It’s not so too big that we can’t get it into the tent, instead we filled it and it pushed on the side of the tent, good thing it didn’t rain on us. We also got to use our sleeping bags that zip together, along with our Coleman lantern. The weather was perfect. It was just cold enough that I was happy to ware a jacket and not too hot or cold for sleeping. Saturday morning we had breakfast and then went up to the fish hatchery. I love just enjoying the mountains. The trees, the wild flowers, the breeze. Besides being on a cruise, I know no other place where one can completely relax and ignore the world outside of where you are. On occasions I feel that way while in the temple. But not every time. I can feel that way every time I am sitting in the calm of the mountains. The mountains are a blessing.

Lisonbee Reunion and LDS Funerals

We went up to Mesa this weekend in order to attend my Grandpa Lisonbee’s funeral. Cory was given a day for bereavement, so we left to head up to Mesa Friday morning. It was disappointing that the temple was closed, all this extra time in Mesa with nothing to do… or did we really have nothing to do. We filled the time with 1- going to thrift stores to see if we could find a suit vest for Cory that would go with his khaki trousers. Just like I love vintage clothing, my husband likes classy cloths. Yes we are a good match. This trip we didn’t find any vests, maybe another time. 2- We used the last AMC gift card we have to go see Wall-E (there is no AMC in Sierra Vista). It was such a cute movie, we really enjoyed it. So cute, so funny. Even with doing all that we still had plenty of time to visit with my family.

Friday night was a family only viewing. Grandpa requested not to have a public viewing. He did not want his dead body to be “on display”. I guess I can relate to his wishes. After all no one looks good dead, you don’t want people’s last memory of you laying in a coffin. But even being family only there was a ton of people there. Grandpa had 8 children with his first wife, my Grandma Margaret Lisonbee (passed away while I was on my mission in 2002), after they divorced he married my Grandma Dorothy. She had 4 children from her first marriage. All the children were there, along with most of their children. It is sad that it takes a death in the family to get us all together. A lot of family got together for my wedding but it was nowhere near this much family. What we need is a huge long termed planed family reunion that no one could pass up. The viewing was so nice to talk and see all the family. So many relatives that I had not seen in years, like since before my mission and some even longer than that. I think that many people would have been surprised to see our viewing happening. There was much joy, laughter, talking, smiling. It would be hard to even believe that we had gather because of a death in the family. Cory, being a convert to the church had not been to a LDS viewing. Having a Irish Catholic background he has been to a few Wakes. Before we went we discussed the differences. Afterwards there was some family discussions that the only differences between Our viewing and a wake was the body was there, and there was no alcohol.

Saturday morning we were to be at the church at 8:30, and the funeral was at 9:30. I am always frustrated with how much pressure they put on family to be there so early before the funeral is to start. All you do is end up sitting around, talking, and what else till it is time. And all that time would have been so nice when sleeping, eating, and getting ready is needed. Grandpa had requested that his funeral didn’t last longer than an hour. He didn’t enjoy attending long funeral. There was an attempt at keeping his wishes. But with all the stories and life accomplishments being spoken of, we went 1.5 hours. So not too over. Grandpa had made almost all of his arrangements a few years ago. He pre-paid for his gravesite and other arrangements. He had already made the request of who was to do what. So there wasn’t a lot of planning on Dorothy’s part and of the children. I think they appreciated it, but at the same time felt a little frustration trying to give themselves closure they way they wanted to and still follow his wishes. I hope he was happy with the outcome.

To use the rest of the afternoon Cory and I went to do some errands. We had some gift cards to use and some items we needed. We also found out that there was a family swim party at my aunt Kathy’s house. We had not brought our swimsuits. So we went to Target and found Cory a new pair of board shorts (good thing because his old swimsuit was really old and super faded). We found me a new suit at Marshalls. I had bought a new suit before we got married, but I really regret the purchase. I hate the suit, it looks sick on me. I am really grateful for the suit we bought. It looked ugly on the hanger, but being a good priced one piece, I tried it on and it actually looked decent. There were two suits I felt comfortable with how they looked and I took the back out for Cory’s advice (he only saw them on the hanger) there was a tankini turquoise and this olive one piece with a gathered polka-dot bust. Cory picked the olive because he said he thought the color would look better on me- I have a husband with good taste. It has been a really long time since I felt this happy with a bathing suit.

Sunday- Cory stayed home from church because his uvula was super swollen and red. It was so big that it was touching his tongue and kept choking him. I felt so sorry for him. He gargled with warm salt water, spayed Chloraseptic, and drank throat coat. He is feeling much better today, but yesterday he was so miserable.

We are back home now. Next weekend we have plans to return to Mesa but then onward to go camping up on the rim. Have a great week everyone.

Death is Not the End

Last night at 3:50 am my mother's father, my grandpa, Lorenzo, passed away. He was old, after he was in his 90's. He had lived a full life, if we will all be so lucky. Not that its luck. He as a good man, with good genetics, and a large family. His death due to a combination of old age and complications due to a fall that occurred sometime on Sunday. He had been living in an assisted care center for a couple months now. But he had been doing well, most of his pain was due to arthritis.
I am sorry if I sound insensitive to my own grandfather's death. Everyone deals with death differently. Most of the time I deal with death by being matter of fact about the situation. The second set for me is usually to be reflective. At some point I will start having regrets, and eventually I will cry. The tears are almost always because I know I will miss them and it will be a long time till I will be able to see them again. But my tears are never because I don't know if I will see them again. I KNOW that I will. I know that death is only the end of this test of life. After this we return to our Father who made us, who loves us (Alma 40:11). In the next life there is not going to be all this "stuff", everything will be better. Death can be scary, the idea of dying before being able to live life fully, but I have come to realize that death is a blessing. It is a blessing to the one who is found ready to return home. Have you ever been home sick? Well I get homesick, not just for being back in Mesa with my family, but to be back home with my Heavenly Father and family. There has been times in my life were I was ready to go Home. Although there were still a million things on Earth that I wanted to do, they didn't matter, I could have moved on without them, if it had been my time. However, I would have a hard time now. Unlike my grandfather who has lived a very full life, I have not. I only got married 2 1/2 months ago, there is still so much I need to do.
Death is hard on those who are still alive. I started this book, "Anybody Out There" by the Marion Keyes. I was almost half way through the book when we realize that the husband didn't just leave his wife and she is trying to get him back, instead he died in this car accident. He died and she lived. They had only been married a few months. I can't get myself to finish the book. It hits too close to home. I don't know how I would pick up the pieces of my life if that happened to me. I waited 27 years to find the guy I could marry and be happy with. There is the comforting thought that we have been sealed in the temple for time and all eternity. He would still be stuck with me. But to not have children, or if we did have children to raise them alone... death is always hardest on those who didn't die. But its a blessing to those who do.
I regret that I didn't get to see my grandpa one last time. The last time we went up to Mesa I took the Phlebotomy class and my family went to go see him, I didn't have time to go. I wish I had found a way to make time. I know my grandpa was proud of me. He loved science and was so happy to finally have a grandchild take interest in biology. He did a lot with his life. I know he still had his regrets. I hope that although I know I will have regrets, I hope that I can live a full life to, make the best of the time I do have and I pray I can pass the test.