Letter to the lady who berated me at the park:

Dear Lady who berated at the park:
     As I said multiple times in the calmest toned voice I could muster as you yelled in my face, holding onto my daughter, "I appreciate your concern but there are circumstances here that you do not understand." In the moment, I would have been happy to explain them to you, but you were so angry and yelling so loud. It was an embarrassing scene you were making in front of probably 50 people from our small community. I was trying very hard not to lose my temper at you. I was trying so hard to refrain from yelling back at you. You had jumped to conclusions of  what you and your friend "think" happened and were not open to listening to the truth. I eventually did lose my temper, but I didn't lose it in the way that you told the police. Instead of yelling obscenities and calling you volgue names, as you told the policeman, I took my child back from you- can you blame me, you said you are a parent too (and that is why you said you were an authority of raising children), what would you have done if a angry women berating and yelling at you was hold your child away from you. I then took my children and went and got into my car and left. The only thing I said to you in anger was "fine then call the police", which to your credit you kept to your word and did. Considering you had 50 witnesses around you I don't know why you felt the need to lie to the police. It was probably because you had already built the story up in your head, after all you "knew" what had happened. You "knew" the "truth".
Now that the moment is past, would you like to know the truth? My children had got separated from me while I was getting my produce at the community produce day. They saw that mama was distracted and had full arms and although they were given permission to play on the playground a few feet from where we were as long as they stayed together, they took advantage of the craziness to get out of my site. I found my eldest son covered in mud when I was done through the line, and asked him where his sisters were. They were not together nor were they on the playground like they were suppose to be. He told me they were on the other side of the park playing in the mud. Again my arms were full of lots of heavy produce (remember that was they say we got 3 mellons each and 3 cantelope). I told him to get back to his sisters. I then took my youngest (who had stayed with me the whole time) and my produce to the car and buckled him in. Since I can't leave him in the car and dragging him around the park further would have been disastrous (I know my physical limits), I started the car up and started to move it to the other side of the park where my eldest had told me they had run off to, only to see my eldest running around scared in the mass of people. I stopped in the middle of the parking lot and run up to my son, I saw he was worried, I even thanked your friend who was with him, he being a smart kid had asked an adult for help when he realized he couldn't see me. That was when you started yelling at me with one of my daughters covered in mud. I would have expected some charity from you some relief that a mother was reunited with her child. I was a worried mother, who had been separated from my children and was grateful that they were fine. I was still worried because I was missing another child, instead of charity from you, I got yelling and hate from someone under the disguise of caring that I was being a neglectful mom. Every mom has a moment of bad judgement or helplessness as the actions of their children were out of their control. For your information I have never yelled obscenities at anyone in my entire life. Ask anyone who knows me. Ask my children. My children don't even know any obscenities, because I don't use them. The closest I have ever come is yelling da*n once when I dropped something super heavy on my foot. Most of the time, what is used as obscene words in my vocabulary is "oh heck" and on a super rare occasion "crap". None of which I did I even use in front of you. I could see how angry you were, how much of a scene you were making. I didn't want a scene, I didn't want you to be angry. I just wanted all my children back with me safe. Have you never had a lost child? Have you never felt that worry and panic of where did they go? In a community like ours, small, full of faith professing Christians, and patriotic military families- I expected that in a moment like that for those around me to pull together and help me find my children and rejoice with me when we were all rejoined safe. But you took what could have been a sweet community moment and turned it into bitterness and hate as you yelled at me about being a neglectful mom and leaving my children. You assumed that since you had my child in your custody for a short minute and you saw me get out of my car that I had left them at the park to fend for themselves. You told the police I had left them there for at least 20 minutes. You told the police that I yelled at you. You told the police I had showed an unChristian example in front of my children, and worst of all you made my children cry, cry because you were calling the police, and yelling that I shouldn't be a mother if I treat my children that way. You scared my children into thinking that the police where going to take their mother way from them. Was that your intent? I don't think so. I think in that short moment you had my children around you, you were worried for them. They were scared and you worried for them. Whatever your experiences are, this made you lash out at me- a scared and worried parent.
I have had many crazy people berate me in public. I am sure this won't be the last time. Most of the time about how I have no business having so many children (I only have 4 and believe me that isn't that many). why people unprompted feel the need to lecture people on their choice to have children is beyond. me.  It is now my turn to show you the Charity you did not show me. I am sure you are a good person. I believe that in the moment you honestly thought you were trying to do a good thing. Out of all the people who have treated me unkindly I am having the hardest time feeling that charity and forgiveness. I think it is because you made my children cry, and because this time I had to explain myself to a police officer- who by they way totally understood and dropped the whole thing on hearing what actually had happened. With all done and said, I am hurt. I am hurt that someone who does so much in the community to try to help others, would have treated one person who needed some love and compassion at that moment with so much anger so much hate, so little Charity. I admire the charity work you do for the community. I know you want to be a good Christian and serve those in need. Please Please Please remember that there are those in need who what they need is Charity- pure love and forgiveness. I am trying to forgive you. I am trying to have Charitable love for you. Please forgive me for my shortcomings, and the perceived shortcomings you have of me, and please have Charity for me.
Sincerely the Lady who got separated from her children at the product day on Friday at the park.

Please everyone, you may think you "know the truth" of what happened or what is going on in someone else's life, but you don't, most of us will never know or understand the truth when it comes to another person. As a society we need to have more Charity, more love, more forgiveness, more understanding. This one word, if implemented would solve so many of our Country's and World's problems. Charity is the answer.



Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. -Moroni 7:46-7

Our Money Makeover

Part of me is really uncomfortable talking about this but it needs happen. My husband and I recently came to some realization about our goals and how the way we were living our life was going to keep us from ever actually realizing them. As members of the LDS church many of us have this and we hide it like it is going to make us outcast lepers if the truth is learned. And at General or Stake Conference when we are counseled to "GET OUT OF DEBT" we sit there like they are talking to someone else. I actually believe that many of us think they way I was at those moments "we're good, we're working on it" but saying we're working on it isn't going to fix it unless we are actively making changes in our lives.

We are in Debt!*

There it has been said. The second half of that is we now have an actually plan and resolve to put that plan into action. For anyone in the same boat we are- there is a plan and a path and you can join us on that journey.

Read more at my new blog: Arizona Girl Goes Thrifty

The short story for anyone who doesn't want to move their reading over to the long version on my new blog is- we decided it was time to make changes, we read Dave Ramsey's book "Total Money Makeover" in order to learn how and find that hope,  We are now working on our baby steps. It is going to take some time.

*I feel it is important that we are not so in debt that we have ever or would ever consider bankruptcy. We were just making bad assumptions about how to spend our money and bad choices that would keeping our goals forever just out of reach.

Just another week

Summer is out and it has been hot. We've been sitting around the 103 F around here. Normally we are 10-15 degrees F cooler than the Phoenix Valley (where I grew up), and this week was no exception, they were sitting around 115 F all week. So it is hot.

Tuesday was interesting. We had the LDS (because if any of you didn't know yet- yes we are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints aka the Mormons) Sister Missionaries over for dinner. They were sweet but not the annoying sweet that made me dislike sister missionaries growing up and made me never want to be one (funny story I was a sister missionary, but I was a cool sister missionary who even to this day had a reputation that I was an elder hater, not because I actually hated the elders but because I wouldn't put up with anything from them-grow up). One was from eastern Washington and the other from north of Chicago. So after dinner, they leave to go to an appointment with a family they are teaching, and we put our children to bed- followed by I go grocery shopping (adventure in and of itself- we recently started a new budget). When I get home from the grocery store they are 4-5 vehicles parked on our street down by where the sister missionaries live (yes they live in a house owned by some members down the street from us). One, at least, was obviously shaped like a police car but no lights were on, I decided to turn into my drive way and not get in the way by going over and trying to snoop to find out what was going on. Later I learned from their neighbor, that it were police cars. There had been a scary dude hanging around the sisters' house looking into the windows, when confronted he kept trying to find out who lived at that house, and was seen back later that night. So the police were asked to drive by occasionally and then made a big deal of it when there was another reported siting of the creeper. Crazy. A story of this type would make more sense if we lived in some big city with lots of crime and people, but we don't. We live in the middle of almost no where. If those sisters' parents here about this please know they have neighbors who are looking out for them and have their back. We live in a very safe place.
On Wed. our power was out for about an hour. I feels like a funny story when you piece all the stories together. The power was out for a large part of the unincorporated county land we live in, and for a smaller area up in town. The story is that a semi was in an accident and when it rolled it caught a power line going over the street. They were able to get the power up in town on quickly but there were sections of county land that were without power for 2 1/2 hours. In addition there were a bunch of people who lost their Cox internet for a few hours. We didn't exactly loose internet (while the power was off there was no way to tell) but it did wig out a few times, were it would disconnect everything and be off for a few seconds. So that was all fun. I was fingertips away from saying we were going to have ice cream for dinner. darn it went back up before I could make that call.

Thursday I hit my mouth with a glass baking dish. I don't even remember why... but it hurt and later I realized I chipped my tooth. Not really noticeable or anything but it annoys me. I am going to call my dentist and see what he charges just to file it smooth.

So we just finished week 4 of summer. One more week down and we'll be half way to summer break being over and school starting. How are we surviving? With the free summer movies at the local theater, spending lots of time at the park (even in this heat), and eating lots of otter-pops. It is rough. I am just being up front here. My kids are crazy and get destructive when they don't have playmates. WE NEED PLAY DATES! It frusterates me to no end that all my kids want to do is watch TV (we don't even have any TV for DVDs).
So that is life. Father's day was nice. I made lasagna for my husband at his request. Hope ya'll had a great Father's Day too.

the Twins first Haircuts

Grandma decided it was time for the girls to get their first haircuts.

She arranged (and paid) for the girls to get their hair done by Grandma's stylist.

Nellie

Rosie

They look so darling! And they are so proud of their new dos

Thanks Grandma

Our New Baby Boy

I just realized that I never actually posted on this blog when our son was born. He was born April 10th. It was a crazy slow-quick birth. For me it felt like it went on forever. But from the time the doctor broke my water to baby out was 4 1/2 hours. But that was my longest labor yet.

We went and were induced.

This is my one and only baby bump photo for this pregnancy.

We named him

Lawrence Howard

9 lbs even, ante 19.25 inches long

And oh my goodness he was born with RED hair!

All the kids are handling the new baby just fine.

They are all happy he is here

Law makes the cutest bug eye baby faces

He is now over a month old. Has grown more than 2 inches in that time and is 10 1/2 lbs.

Updating our lives

I am been so busy trying to prepare my life for a new baby. For most people this means "nesting" for me it means that I have been spending a lot of my personal time trying to get my digital scrapbooking stuff ready for the next couple months.

So here is our life since the beginning of the year.

1. Al drew a picture in primary if you look closely you can see the baby he drew in my tummy.

2. Yes we are expecting. We are due in April.
We are having a boy.

3. On New Years Day we were able to go to the Fiesta Bowl. It was fun until our children were just done and we went home.

4. Al started preschool. He goes 5 days a week and loves it.

5. My Christmas present was to do to the Palm theater in Mesa. It is a dinner theater, and the play was "Fiddler on the Roof" Very much enjoyed it.

6. While Al is at preschool we have spend a lot of time at the park

7. We have been potty training again. The girls are doing really well. Not perfect but well. This pic of Nellie has her on the couch playing with the toy phone. Hope that isn't how my children see me.

8. boo I'm gestational diabetes again. Eating that way is a pain but doable. However, my doctor is again sending me to do once a week NSTs. GRR its just annoying. I'd rather be doing something else and staying away from the hospital. Dealing with the hospital is the bane of being pregnant for me.

And that is our lives in a nutshell.

Hope ya'll are doing well do.

Our family Cruise

My husband and I love to cruise. We went on a cruise for our honeymoon and found out that we LOVE it. We then went on our second cruise when we'd been married 2 1/2 years and it was fantastic. Now we've been married for 5 years and we were itching for another cruise. After looking at our options we decided to go as a whole family this time and take our children. My friend Amber (from music camp, college, she's been my friend for a long time) and her family came with us.

After weighing our options of reviews verses price and on board options we decided to go with Carnival- it was by far the cheapest for 5 people, had rooms for 5 people, and take 2 year olds at the kids camp- no other cruise lines starts at 2 (EVERYONE else starts at 3, they may offer paid babysitting but not inclusive kids camp) and with two two year old girls that was a HUGE deal.
We had heard a lot of things about Carnival being the "booz cruise" and being how any cruise line in the Caribbean is the "party" destination. But we had also heard that it isn't as bad as the rumors say and we hoped we made the best choice considering all our needs.

We choose a 5 day cruise (that way if the children didn't handle it well it was shorter), out of Galveston, TX (because we could drive there and stay in budget), with two stops Cozumel and Progresso, Mexico (so we could see Chichen Itza).

We loved out shore excursions, Chichen Itza was awesome and in Cozumel we did a private island called Passion Island. It was awesome. We were a little concerned about the "all you can drink" alcohol but there was only one person who was obviously drunk when the shore excursion was over. The awesome part of Passion Island was the kids section. They had activities, and a play area and children supervisors that were great with the kids. We didn't fully leave our children there (although we could have) we sat up next to the play area were we could watch them play. Our daughters discovered water color painting and did that for over an hour.  

Our children LOVED it. They had so much fun. The loved their time at the kid's camp and would beg to go. 

Our steward had fun with our children's toys and kids loved seeing it and the fun animal towels.

So its a good thing our children enjoyed the kids camp because there was nothing else on ship for us to "safely" do with our children. If we weren't at the kids camp, we were in our room using the laptop to watch a movie.

Here comes the downer side of everything....

1. Carnival bills themselves as "family friendly" not just that they have a kids area but they advertise that everything is family friendly for the entire family.

FALSE it was such a drunken party all over the ship that we would avoid walking anywhere near the pool or the casino with our children. I didn't want to expose our children to that atmosphere. 

On top of that I didn't want to be in that atmosphere. We didn't go swimming once because we didn't want to be in that area.

Compare and Contrast- On our other two cruises we would go to the pool, participate in the different on board activities. Never once did I feel like the fact that I wasn't drinking anything but soda ever make me self continuous or even aware that I was the only one not drinking. Every activity focuses around alcohol.

In addition, even the shows said they were family friendly. We went to one of them that said was rated "PG for costumes". I would have given the costumes a PG-13 rating and the show as well. NO way would I have taken my children at any age to see it. After that we skipped the other shows.

2. Our room was a lot smaller than on the other ships we've been on. It ended up fine, but it was tight for 5. I think if we didn't have a balcony it would have been much more difficult. The TV channels were a joke. There was never anything to watch, especially for our children. And our room was two floors above the "broadway" shows theater and we could hear EVERY word and note through the whole show. Either the boat was not constructed with sound proofing or the show is way too loud, or both.

3. Besides a few super stand out employees the rest of the service was below par- way below. We love to do the "unlimited" soda. One thing we LOVED is they had Coke ZERO and Sprite ZERO as part of their soda options. If not for this options I wouldn't have done the unlimited soda. I am not a huge soda drinker- but when I do drink soda I only drink diet soda. I do not drink my calories (except for milk or juice in the morning for my breakfast). So here is the complaint. The soda was done in cans that they poured into cups with ice for you. It was never already cold soda, and often was flat because it doesn't take a whole can to fill the cup and the rest of the can would just sit out until someone asked for that soda again, then they would get what was left from the last can before they would open a new can. It created a lot of flat soda. Then there were the bar tenders where you had to get the soda. Besides the bar tender in the main lobby with the guest services desk, all the bar tenders acted like your were imposition them to have them get you a drink. Yes we aren't making any more money for them, but we did pay for it and that makes money for them.

Shout outs---- Regina in the dining hall was AWESOME!!! and so was Daniel the dining hall drink server!!!

4. The food was... okay. It wasn't anything amazing or even special. I really liked the hot chocolate in the buffet area that was inclusive, and the soft serve ice cream always available. And my favorite was the chocolate molten cake in the dinning hall. But when it comes to meals, nothing was so wonderful to brag about. And the same food was available at the dinning hall as were the at the buffet. 

Our biggest problem, was that we learned that the world's definition of "family friendly" is - 'there is a safe place to drop off your kids while you go get smashed'. 

It was a good cruise for us at that moment in our lives. Having to take the girls everywhere with us would have not worked and the girls had so much more fun at the kids camps. But we will probably NEVER do that particular cruise again.

Overall we did have a great family vacation. 

and everyone was happy to get home again.

the Twins turn TWO

The girls turned two a week ago on the 11th. I didn't know how to make their birthday special. It was a Sunday and we were up in Mesa. So I got them birthday muffins. We also had cake and ice cream after dinner with their cousins. They also got a few gifts- a magnetic drawing pad, a water drawing pad, big girl underpants, and a Little Einestine DVD (which my brothers have decided were missed named and should have been called "little mozart"

They were adorable for church in their new Sunday dresses. I hope they enjoyed their birthdays and that it felt more special than just any other Sunday.

Our time in Mesa

We spent the last two weeks in Mesa. The premise of being there was that I could be a help to my sister. And I believe we were a help. But we did take advantage of being up there to enjoy ourselves.

One day when we had my sister's daughter with us we went to Sonic and everyone got their own Strawberry or Cherry Limeade. The twins were suppose to share but Nellie didn't want to share so Rose ended up with my Route 44.

Tues we went to the Arizona Museum of Natural History. I remembered they have dinosaurs there and knew that would be a huge hit with our four year old. Of course it was. Wish I took more pictures. I didn't know that there were so many dinosaurs that have been found here in Arizona. I hadn't been to the museum since I was a in elementary school. I am so glad we went.

When we left the Museum on Tues, Al then announced that he wanted to go to the place with the live fish and sea animals. I knew he was talking about the aquarium but I wasn't going to take him 2 places in one day and going there in one trip would be expensive. When I mentioned his request to my brothers they suggested the Bass Pro shop in Mesa. They have fish there. So that is what we did for our outing on Wed. Well Al, although found the place interesting, was very keen to point out that it was no aquarium.

Al finally broke me down and on Thursday we went to the Sea Life Arizona Aquarium at Arizona Mills mall. It was a larger aquarium than we had visited previously but I didn't feel like it has as many interactive activities. Al was in heaven the girls really enjoyed it too. The first time through we didn't see the octopus, and after a lot of tears we went back in and asked if they had an octopus. Turns out they do and they told us where we'd find it. So we went all the way through again. I need to remember that on thing like this that my children will regain interest again and do it all over if we just take a break and come back again. Each time through it took us about an hour with my children's short attention span. 

Friday we hang around the house and then their cousins had a sleep over with them that night. First one of its type.ll

New Nibbling and time in Mesa

My sister had her baby on the 5th. His name is Theodore and we are calling him "Teddy".

We went up to Mesa to see our new cousin and to help my sister out in any way I could.

his cousin (on the other side of the family) Maggie was born the same day at the same hospital

NOT TWINS

As they were getting ready to be discharged from the hospital he has what we started calling "breathing attack episodes"

It  was scary. He would stop breathing and turn blue.

Many theories were given why this was happening

eventually they moved him to Cardon Children's Hospital.

He still hadn't been home yet. They monitored him for seven days and found nothing.

Finally after being 13 days old he was release to go home for the first time. They are going to have to keep a monitor on him for a month but at least they are home. I think my sister handled the whole thing very grown up. I am grateful that prayers have been answered and they are now home as a family.

Sick all week

We get home from spending time up in Mesa and I was looking forward to spending time with friends from around here and such, we went to the park on Monday morning (we were visit teaching one of our sisters, we find the park nice because we all have children and our children can play and life is good). After naps on Monday Rose woke up with a fever. It is now Saturday and that fever hasn't fully gone away. Nellie has had a little bit of a fever.
I just want our lives back!

long weekend in Mesa

Went to my parents' house (yes they aren't living there right now they are in Thailand but my brothers are living there and we stay there when we come up.)

The girls LOVE to play on the piano. 

Uncle Von babysat and dressed my children while my husband and I were able to go to the temple. 

We stayed up through the weekend, but come Monday we had to pack up and head back home.

bye bye now.

Park and Corn dogs

Back on the 23rd of May (last day of school around here) Sonic had 50 cent corn dogs. So we went by for lunch, got our corn dogs, and ordered enough that my children ate them for lunch and dinner that day. Don't judge my children love corn dogs and I knew we were going up to Mesa for the long weekend and leaving that night (having dinner in the car) what better food for children on a road trip than corn dogs. Especially since my children love them and eat every last bite.

While we waited for daddy to get off work and start our road trip we went to the park.

It was a short visit but they made the most of it and were so sad to leave.

Took this pic walking up to the park.

Nellie had hurried ahead, Rose called out to here
"Wait" and Nellie turned around and they ran to each other.

I just love this photo and I am totally smitten with the love and bond my babies have. There is nothing else so sweet to watch. 

Watching LDS General Conference

I love LDS General Conference!!

I also love getting to watch it in my pajamas.

Good bye Grandpa and Grandma

My parents came down for my birthday and to see our children and spend time with them. My children love their grandparents.

My parents entered the MTC April 1st. They are going on an LDS mission to Thailand. My dad served in Thailand back in the late 60's as a JR missionary. 

We are so excited and happy for my parents. We have already felt the blessings from their choice to serve the Lord. But I don't think my children understand that when they said "good-bye" to grandma and grandpa it was the last time they would see them other than on the computer for 18 months.